Just after Christmas I got the flu. Then dad got it and I had to take him to the emergency room. His doctor was afraid he might have pneumonia. He was delirius - seeing gorillas in the trees and hearing things. I on the other hand just felt like I'd already died. Two Charles Beldens in the same emergency room can get interesting. I kept pointing out that I was the younger one and that there was an older one around somewhere. Four hours and a chest x-ray and blood test later we left with a prescription for antibiotics for each of us.
I returned him to Cedar Creak and went and got his prescription filled. I left him and his antibitoics with the full time nursing staff of Cedar Creek and went home and crawled into bed where I would remain for the next 7 days - literally. He had nurses taking care of him, I had to fend for myself. At least that's what I thought.
One of the nurses at Cedar Creek called me a week later. Dad was running a fever and his doctor had ordered chest x-rays "stat", which turned out to mean six and a half hours later. Unfortunately, by the time the x-rays were available to the doctor he was gone for the weekend. But I did reach the on call doctor and convinced him to come over to see my father since he couldn't be moved. Mr. B looked as close to death as can be imagined. Seems as though no one noticed that he wasn't eating OR drinking much for three or four days - not the thing to do when you've got the flu and are running a fever. The doctor ordered a series of blood tests and the next day the results were back.
Dad was severly anemic and dehydrated and was in renal failure (kidneys were shutting down). He was also down to about 92 pounds. On January 12th dad was admitted to the hospital directly into the acute care wing. They started an IV and continued the antibiotics he'd been taking. He was one very sick puppy and I wasn't sure he was going to make it.
Began spending two hours in the morning, two hours around lunch time and two hours around dinner hanging out on the ward or in dad's room. Lots of details to watch out for and inform the nursing staff of. Even being there a lot and keeping an eye on things doesn't guarantee things won't happen . . .
Dad had a living will that stated "no heroic measures", "do not resuscitate" and "no stomach tubes or ventilators". His doctor therefore ordered "food by mouth only"and assumed that the hospital staff would order a pureed diet and thick fluids (dad would choke on water and was too weak to chew). But the speech therapist checked him out and because of his weak swallow reflex ordered "nothing by mouth", assuming he'd get nutrients by stomach or nasal tube.
Two days my lady Elaina and I were visiting dad and Elaina asked if the IV was glucose. I checked and it was saline. "When does he get the glucose?" Elaina asked. "I'll check with the nurses" I sadi. "There are no doctors orders for glucose." said the nurse. I can't repeat all the things I then said but it wasn't long after that dad started getting pureed food and thickened liquids. Medicine is now a business and when dealing with business, especially life and death business be very very careful and very very thorough. The life you save could be your mom or dads.
When he was feeling a little better the rehabilitation people started working with him. One of them was named Cesar and I asked if he spoke spanish. He did. So I told him dad could also speak spanish fluently. The word got out and all the staff who spoke spanish would talk to him exclusively in spanish. Dad repsonded well to spanish and the spanish speaking staff enjoyed using their native language. Spanish also got dad extra dessert on a regualr basis.
As Mr. B's condition began to improve we began looking for a long term care facility with "skilled nursing" for him. (there are assisted living facilities, rehabilitation facilities, and long term care facilities - and only a lawyer could sort out what differntiates one from the other). If you find yourself ever needing one of these places use the following rule of thumb - "if the lobby is expensive looking but the "residents" are four to a room and most of the care givers don't speak english though viet namese, thai, cambodian, chinese and korean are common - go look for another place."
We finally found Almaden Care and Rehabilitation, a half a mile from home. As we walked in the front door we encountered a cat, followed by a little girl of 3 or 4 who picked up the cooperative cat and walked down the hall and into one of the resident's rooms. That was the first good omen. There were a fair number of visitors about - another good omen. When we met the admissions person, it was in her small but functional office (look for small ooffices and large resident rooms). Elaina and I liked her within five minutes. We got a tour of the place and were told the services they provided and the price. We wandered around some more, talking with residents and staff people and got a real good feeling about the place. Three days later we brought dad over from the hospital and things started settling in.
For the first ten days at Almaden Rehab dad was on an IV. His kidneys hadn't kicked back in yet. But I got together with the nutritionist and made sure dad got the pureed diet and thickened liquids he needed. And when you make friends with the kitchen staff you can get extra mashed potatoes and extra gravy and soup and often an extra dessert.
Since dad was still having trouble eating I'd stop by for lunch and again for dinner. Once the routine got established and I started trusting the staff I stopped the 3 times a day for two hours each visits and went down to one visit a day. As dad grew stronger he no longer needed the IVs though still required oxygen. That sort of limited his visits to our house though the weather didn't permit it either. We had almost two months of rain with 2 or 3 days of some sun but mostly overcast and cold. In that time I was able to take him outside in a wheelchair with an oxy bottle and did get one trip back home before the bad weather returned.
I stop by to see dad every day, either around lunch time or about dinner time. I print the e-mail messages "B's Kids" have sent and take them, along with birthday cards etc. over to dad as they come in. He reads them and smiles, some of the kids he remembers and some can't place. But the idea that some of his "kids" are thinking of him makes him feel good. Some times I bring our australlian shephard dog Sadie or our chocolate lab Nitro (he was a very destructive puppy) with me. Animals are great for old folks - links them to fond memories and gets them talking. Have met some pretty amazing people there, and this from the son of a pretty amazing man.
So we've sort of settled into a routine and things are going fairly well. As the weather improves will get him over to the house and try phoning some of his kids. So don't be surprised if you get a call and the voice says "please hold for Mr. B." and a voice from your passed says "Hello?"