Love when you feel good about yourself.
Don't love in order to feel good.
You must give love freely in order to be loved,
but you must find someone who is free to give as well.
Love is an old three-legged stool,
which must be treated with care.
Its three legs are You, Me, and Us.
Neglect any one and it will collapse.
Love should not be earned nor held to strict accounting.
We do things for our partners because we feel good about our
relationships, not to make our partners feel good about us.
Beware an early compromise in which you give up something essential.
That agreement will be very hard to renegotiate later.
Know yourself. Be true to yourself. Be good to yourself.
Beware the woman who has no boundaries,
as she will never respect your limits.
Beware the child who hasn't left her parents,
as she may side with them and leave you.
Beware the lover who is still hurting,
as she is not yet ready to love again.
Love is not a fiery gem, to be purchased once and put away until
special occasions when it is polished and then put on display.
Love is a living, growing thing that must be nurtured day to day.
Daily consideration, conversation, and affection are a good start.
Good sex is certainly not everything, but it helps.
Money is certainly not everything, but it helps.
Appreciation is certainly not everything, but it helps. So does laughter.
Share not just good times together but your dreams, hopes, and fears.
Know your partner inside out, in ways both big and small.
What does she like? What is she doing today? How did it go?
Listening and sympathy are often more wanted than advice.
Offer, but don't instruct, critique, or assist until asked.
A relationship without commitment is like
a boat without a rudder. It drifts.
Commitments have to come from both parties.
Don't assume that your partner
has committed just because you have.
Don't be afraid to commit -- but don't rush it either.
Don't commit before finding out if you and your partner are compatible.
Between the agreement to be true and the decision to get engaged
lies the essence of commitment: to listen to dreams, to work things out.
When you choose your partner, you also choose her problems.
Not all problems can be solved. Many must be lived with.
Some problems are mine, some are yours, and some are ours.
But all our interactions belong to both of us. Work on them.
Communication and conflict resolution are two different things.
Often they go together but sometimes they can diverge.
Complain, don't criticize. Be specific. Don't blame. Take turns.
Don't assume. Ask.
Don't assume. Listen. Don't be defensive.
Don't assume. Tell. ...gently.
Expecting mind-reading isn't romantic; it's cowardly. Do the hard work.
Accepting your partner's influence or point of view isn't being weak.
If you try to have everything your way, you will end up with nothing.
Be willing to give away anything you don't absolutely have to have.
Don't settle for less than what you really -- and realistically -- want.
There are two sides to every story.
Don't respond if you're not ready. Listen, acknowledge, and ask
for a day or two to think things over. Most decisions can wait.
Don't go to sleep with anger. If you're too tired or upset to talk,
say you're sorry, promise you'll talk later, and kiss her good night.
Then talk to her later. Don't skip this just to avoid conflict.
Recognise when things are getting tense and try to reduce the tension.
Timeouts beforehand are better than regrets afterwards.
A woman's anger can exceed a man's anger,
and the man will not leave her.
But if a man's anger ever exceeds a woman's anger,
she may never forgive him.
It's ok to feel angry, as long as you express it gently and assertively.
Don't curse your partner or show contempt in your tone of voice.
Tell your partner why you're angry in a way that gives her room to
disagree.
Sooth both yourself and each other before reopening a tense topic.
Afterwards, give thanks. Remind each other what you love about them.
To love once is easy; to love again after being hurt is hard but necessary.
You will love again.